Codename: The Vortex
Tap here to jump down to the TL;DR
It's been a surprisingly, suspiciously good morning. You've successfully navigated the floordrobe to find something clean and relatively wrinkle-free, remembered to brush your teeth, pack a real lunch (that sandwich is already calling your name), and even had time to make coffee! You take a sip as you head for the door —oh yeah, that's the stuff.
The warm sensation soothes your throat and traces a radiant line as it travels downward, passing your lungs to settle comfortably in your belly. If you didn't know any better you'd expect to be glowing. Standing at the door, you take a quick inventory before leaving.
Work bag? Check!
Lunch? Check!
Phone? Check!
Wallet? Double check!
Keys... Oh god, keys!?
Not today, please...
You check the door, your pockets, your bag, the dish by the entryway, the hook by the door. Nothing.
Ten frantic minutes later, exasperated after tearing apart the living room and revisiting the floordrobe to check any pockets, you open the fridge to grab a water bottle and there they are —nestled right next to the freaking mustard.
There's no logical explanation. This is the diabolical work of The Vortex.
Unlike the innocent Time Thief or hapless Major Minor, The Vortex is a mischievous trickster. She's the gremlin in your cognitive filing cabinet that actively delights in absurdity and mayhem. The Vortex doesn't misplace your keys because she's distracted, she puts them in the fridge (or leaves them in your car!) because she thinks it's funny. Chaos isn't a byproduct of her actions, chaos is the point.
She snickers to herself as she swaps the locations of your phone and TV remote, and finds it hilarious to open fifty browser tabs on wildly different topics just so she can watch you struggle to piece together the original thread of your research.
The Vortex is the poltergeist of productivity, and her greatest pleasure comes from tying knots in the strings of your well-laid plans.
Official Title: Deficits in Organization
We've reached the final member of The Everyday Horrors, and she's a doozy.
The Vortex is officially known as Deficits in Organization, but she is also a gateway to overwhelm, exhaustion, and chaos. She feeds on towering doom piles, missed deadlines, lost items, and forgotten promises. Her keen ability to ruin the most perfectly planned day cements her status as one of the most formidable foes in The League.
There are several factors at play here, but poor working memory, poor categorization, and a lack of object constancy are the big three.
Weak Working Memory: If you don't have the mental space to keep "I am holding my keys" and "I am putting away the mustard" in your mind simultaneously, the keys can get put down in the wrong place.
Poor Categorization: The unchecked struggle to mentally sort objects and ideas can lead to physical piles and digital chaos.
"Out of Sight, Out of Mind": A lack of object constancy contributes to losing things and creating "DOOM piles." If you're not familiar with the acronym, it's a real testament to the creativity of the ADHD brain: it stands for Didn't Organize, Only Moved.
The Quartermaster of Chaos
The Vortex is unique in the group of field commanders we know as The Everyday Horrors. Her real job is to set up The Gatekeeper, Major Minor, and The Time Thief, for success; and thanks to the perception that disorganization isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things— she excels at it.
Because her mischief seems so childlike her severity is often underestimated. This allows her to brazenly lay the chaotic groundwork that the rest of The League builds their power upon.
While she loves to misplace things, especially when you're not home, The Vortex also delights in skipping about the bedroom, tossing clothes onto the floor and furniture rather than putting them away or even in a hamper. She creates mountainous tasks to summon The Gatekeeper, hundreds of tabs to attract The Locksmith (Perseveration), and teetering doom piles for The Inspector (Perfectionism) to judge.
All of this, just for the fun of watching you struggle.
Modus Operandi (M.O.): Signature Moves
The Vortex is a master of chaos. She doesn't use brute force, but instead prefers to utilize mysterious, reality-bending pranks to dismantle your sense of order.
The Portal Pop
Her favorite prank. It's the mischievous, physical misplacement of an important object into a completely illogical location. This happens when your working memory is overloaded, causing you to drop the mental file for one task (putting keys on the hook) while executing another (putting mustard into the fridge). The Vortex revels in the baffling mystery this leaves behind.
The Tab Wars
The Vortex loves the internet, it's possible she was born there, but no one can really be sure. She finds it fascinating to watch you open one or two tabs for a simple search, then whisper a dozen what if this is relevant, too...? suggestions in your ear. Before you know it, you've got an onslaught of tabs on your hands, drowning your original goal in a sea of digital chaos.
Doom Spires
Among her many talents, The Vortex also maintains a very specific type of architectural skill: Doom Piles.
It starts with a single piece of mail, it doesn't really have a place, so her advice to just put it here for now seems to make sense. Once the foundation is set, she gleefully adds to the pile. Major Minor holds a special place in her diabolical little heart, so she builds these monuments to indecision just for him, knowing they will radiate overwhelm and shame.
The Somewhere Safe Slip-Up
A master-level prank on your Future-Self. The Vortex might persuade you to put an incredibly important item in a special "safe" place; a place so clever and so secure that it becomes functionally invisible —even to you. So you never see it again.
The Yoink
You have a brilliant, world-changing idea. You turn to write it down and, in that instant, The Vortex yoinks it right out of your consciousness —leaving you blinking in confusion.
She doesn't keep it, she just thinks it's funny to watch the way your brow furrows as you search for it. Often she'll casually toss it out into the street, but she also loves to watch you scramble to record it again hours later, while you're in the shower.
Armor Up: Wards and Counterspells
Typically I advocate for flexibility in all things neurodiversity-friendly, but there are some structures that undeniably require a disciplined approach in order to be supportive. You will find most of the more stringent strategies I use here.
Remember that it's perfectly okay to take what works and leave the rest, and that it may be worth iterating on concepts I share until you find the right balance for your life.
Wards
Shielding yourself from The Vortex isn't about becoming a perfectly consistent and organized person. It's about setting up gentle, compassionate systems that act as guardrails for her chaotic whims.
A Home for Everything
This is the foundational Ward. Every object you own needs a designated "home." This doesn't mean perfectly tidy, or traditionally organized, it's a targeted tactic to reduce the decision fatigue that leads to Doom Spires. When you know where something lives, you never have to decide where to put it.
When I moved into a new home last year, I put sticky notes on many cabinet doors, closets, drawers, opaque containers, and shelves to remind myself (and my husband) where things lived until we got used to it.
I also use sticky notes to leave a trail when I move something to a new place in the house. That way, if I find myself looking for or going to put it away in the old place, I am met with an external reminder that it no longer belongs there and where it goes now.
If you have a hard time deciding where things should live, consider the first place you would look for them, and start there.
If you're still not sure, ask a friend where they would look for it and try that instead. It might lead to some interesting brainstorming.
The Landing Strip & Mini-Rituals
Your primary defenses against the Portal Pop. Designate one or two, but as few as possible, "landing strips" for your essential items: keys, wallet, phone, wedding ring —anything you shed as soon as you get home but need to take with you when you leave.
Then, build a mini-ritual around it. The moment you walk in the door, before you do anything else, these important items go on a landing strip. No exceptions.
More Mini-Rituals for Inspiration
I am not perfect at any of them, but here are some of my other mini-rituals to get you started:
Putting plastic-film recycling directly into my car rather than anywhere else; which keeps me from remembering that I wanted to bring it when I'm already at the grocery store, where they have a bin.
Keeping reusable grocery bags in the car, or near the door.
Sorting laundry into a multi-compartment bin as it comes off of my body, rather than leaving it on the floor.
Keeping a dog leash by each door, and returning it to the hook before leaving the entryway —every time.
Assigned days to do certain chores, such as changing the bedsheets on Sunday.
The Daily Spin, read on for details!
The Launchpad
I personally don't tend to struggle with losing things, but I think that's because I developed this method pretty early on: I have a few areas in my home that function as "Launchpads."
In my kitchen, at the center of my home, there is a large whiteboard I use to write reminders and track chores. It sits above a tiny shelf that has built-in hangars, and is only big enough to hold my med-doser, a small clear napkin holder that functions as a corral for receipts and coupons, and a phone/earbud charger. My husband tends to keep his wedding ring here as well.
I hang keys, handbags, and sometimes a flannel here for quick trips outside. There is a similar setup that includes a shoe rack near my front door, where we keep coats, hiking gear, hats, scarves and items that need to be returned to their rightful owners.
All the important things I need when I leave the house live in one of these two spaces when they are not physically on my person. It may not be the most glamorous solution, but you can bet it works— and my friends are always happy to have somewhere safe to hang their bags away from prying paws.
The Daily Spin
Some time ago, I worked for a coffee house that referred to tidying the cafe lobby as "doing a quick spin" (if you know, you know). The proverbial image of spinning around a room quickly pushing in chairs, tossing trash that missed the can, and swiping crumbs off of tables has never left me.
I try to make it a point to do a quick spin around my house once a day, refolding lap-blankets, corralling discarded socks and forgotten water glasses, and generally straightening up with low-effort in mind. This isn't a deep clean, it's clearing visual cobwebs.
It truly always surprises me how much those tiny actions settle my mind, and go a long way toward preventing the construction of Doom Spires.
X-Ray Vision
The Vortex loves the out of sight, out of mind phenomenon. Prevent this by using clear storage bins and open shelving wherever possible, and avoid stacking containers if you can help it (use a shelf instead). We'll talk about designing your lair later, but these are a few simple and supportive rules you can implement right away.
As for the floordrobe, designate a "Wear Again" shelf or hook. I use a clothes drying rack just outside the bathroom, near the laundry sorter, where I undress before a shower.
Counterspells
Use these when The Vortex has you in a frustrated daze.
Sticky-Fingers: Don't Put It Down, Put It Away
A simple but powerful mantra, especially if you're feeling stressed or having a tough day. When holding an item, your only two available actions are to use it or put it back in its home. Removing the option to "just put it here for a second" actively foils both the Portal Pop and a Doom Spire!
This might result in you carrying around an odd assortment of items now and then, but that's fine —who doesn't love coming across as eccentric sometimes?
The One-Touch Rule
A fun twist on the above. When you touch an item that could be come clutter (like mail), you must deal with it completely on that one touch. Open it, decide what to do with it, and either file it or recycle it.
In my house, we take this a step further by not even bringing junk mail inside— it goes directly into the recycle bin on the way in.
The Seer
If you've been Portal Popped and frantic searching isn't working, this is the place to start. The panic that sets in when you realize something important is missing makes it harder to find things, even when they're right in front of you.
Instead of anxiously retracing your steps over and over again, stop, take a deep breath, and connect with your inner Seer to perform this helpful divination.
Stop searching. Close your eyes. Calm your breathing.
Ask the universe, or The Vortex herself, "Where is the dumbest, most ridiculous place it could be?"
Shifting your mental state and calming your body to focus on your memory helps push away the clouds of panic. Turning the search into a game reduces your stress and engages your creative brain. For me, this often jogs the non-linear memory of accidentally putting something in a truly ridiculous place, like the fridge.
Emergency Use Only: Permission to Use The Pocket Dimension
If a Doom Spire is radiating too much shame and overwhelm to even begin sorting, and nothing else is working, focus on harm reduction first.
Grab a laundry basket, bag, or box —this is your Pocket Dimension. Without sorting or making any decisions, put the entire Doom Spire into the Pocket Dimension. Label it "To Be Sorted", and put it somewhere out of your main line of sight. Banishing the immediate visual chaos and shame can free up the executive function you need to tackle other tasks, and you can face the contained pile when you have more capacity.
If you find yourself in a Tab War (which can be something of a digital Doom Spire in itself), try using a browser extension like OneTab (free, no ads) as a Pocket Dimension. With a single click, OneTab will sweep all of your open tabs into a single, dated list, and then close them. Giving your browser a clean slate.
A word of caution: Try not to let this one become your default, as Pocket Dimensions can become their own Doom Spires if left unchecked.
As soon as you're feeling relieved enough to think about it, plan a time to tackle your Pocket Dimensions. If you're still feeling dread and avoidance toward this, consider some ways to make it fun and reduce the tension: treat yourself to a fancy coffee to get revved up and call a friend, or invite them over, to keep you company while you work.
These rituals honor both your present and future selves, the information isn't gone forever, it's been sent to a temporary holding space that you can revisit later.
Pebbles, Lighthouses, Heirlooms, and The Magic Mirror
Two Cornerstones, and two special transformative shifts introduced in The Event Horizon.
The Pebble is a Cornerstone used to make a task so teeny tiny that it's impossible not to start.
The Lighthouse and The Heirloom help you see into the future by imagining how you want to feel when you get there as concretely as possible, and then considering your decisions as if each one creates an heirloom passed on to your Future-Self. Will it get them closer to that feeling, or not?
Cultivating this connection with the future, even if we only know one thing —like that we want to live in France or be debt-free— allows us to evaluate our actions based on whether they are leading us toward that future or away from it, like a lighthouse.
The Magic Mirror is a tool we hold up to a task and ask How can I make this fun? This shift activates the creative and problem solving brain to short-circuit overwhelm. Can you set a timer and try to beat it? Maybe put on a motivating playlist and see how much you can get done during the first song? Or call up your Anchor and find out how their day is going while you work?
Remember, The Vortex is a mischievous part of a creative and curious mind. Instead of banishing her completely, it's helpful to focus on building out a more supportive playground for her to exist in. By creating simple systems and having a few good Counterspells ready, we can reduce the mayhem to a manageable hum, leaving us with more energy for the things that truly matter.
You've got this.
✂️ TL;DR
The Villain: Meet The Vortex, the mischievous gremlin and Quartermaster of Chaos behind ADHD disorganization. She doesn't just create mess; she creates illogical, baffling chaos because she thinks it's funny.
The M.O.: She uses pranks like The Portal Pop (keys in the fridge), The Tab Wars (digital chaos), Doom Spires (clutter piles), The Somewhere Safe Slip-Up (losing important items), and The Yoink (losing a train of thought).
The Strategy: Use proactive Wards like creating "A Home for Everything," a "Landing Strip" for essentials, and using "X-Ray Vision" (clear storage). Fight back with in-the-moment Counterspells like "Don't Put It Down, Put It Away," "The Seer" to find lost items, and the emergency "Pocket Dimension" to banish overwhelming piles.