Codename: The Gatekeeper
Tap here to jump down to the TL;DR
You have one important email to send. You know what you need to say. You open a new draft, fingers hovering over the keyboard for a few seconds... and nothing happens. Instead, a voice in your head starts its cross-examination.
"Are you sure that's the right opening line? What if you sound too demanding? Maybe you should check for more research first. Actually, you should probably clean your desk before you can even think about this... Wait —Is that a hangnail? Oh no, do we even have clippers?"
An hour later, the page is still blank. You've been had. You've just lost a battle to the notorious ringleader of the Everyday Horrors: The Gatekeeper.
The Gatekeeper isn't a big, scary monster. He's the condescending smart kid from your high school debate team who used logic as a weapon and talked down to everyone, including the teachers. He doesn't need to shout— he defeats you with a calm, relentless barrage of "what if" and "shouldn't you", gaslighting you into second-guessing every decision until you're too exhausted to make one at all. Then he tags in Major Minor, who we'll tackle next week.
Official Title: Task Paralysis
The Gatekeeper's official file name is Task Paralysis, a core symptom of Executive Dysfunction. Task Paralysis, also commonly referred to as "ADHD Paralysis", "Analysis Paralysis", or "ADHD Shutdown", is a breakdown in the brain's "activation" system.
It's not a lack of desire, but a genuine difficulty in initiating an action. It's the reason you can't "just do it", even when every other molecule in your body is trying. For me, this strange impairment, combined with the mental screaming at myself to do literally anything to get moving, has at times been physically painful.
Add the fact that it sounds absolutely ridiculous to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it, and you've got the beginnings of a recipe for disaster.
It can be incredibly tough to cultivate support for a symptom that sounds so made up— despite very real evidence of its manifestations! The Gatekeeper might keep you from doing things, but in many cases, he also serves as a gateway himself by paving the way for the rest of The Everyday Horrors. When left unchecked, this band of brutes can wreak havoc on your life, self-efficacy, and relationships.
Task Paralysis can present in a variety of ways, it's an incredibly sneaky symptom, so the trick is to recognize when you're most vulnerable to it and have your offensive strategies ready.
Fortunately, there are two main conditions to watch out for that generally leave you vulnerable to The Gatekeeper's attacks: Understimulation and overstimulation.
If you think of your brain's processor (the prefrontal cortex) like a computer:
Understimulation is like going into low-power or sleep mode because it's not processing any interesting information.
Overstimulation is like having too many interesting programs open, there's so much to process that it feels impossible to move at all.
For now, we'll focus on arming ourselves with awareness. Let's start with understanding how The Gatekeeper attacks, then go through some practical ways to shield against and be prepared to fight him, even on days when your defenses are low.
Understanding how and when our executive functioning is negatively impacted will help us combat the compulsion to dismiss our trials as "silly"; and cultivating healthy coping skills will boost our ability to recruit supportive allies (which we'll talk about in a future Grimoire section).
Modus Operandi (M.O.): The Gatekeeper's Primary Attacks
The What-If Barrage: For many of us, this is The Gate Keeper's primary weapon. He floods the brain with an endless stream of potential negative outcomes, no matter how unlikely. This can be triggering for anyone who also experiences anxiety in tandem with their ADHD symptoms, perpetuating an endlessly escalating cycle of procrastination and anxiety that feels impossible to break.
The Prerequisite: Before you can do The Thing, you must first do another, often unrelated, thing. For instance, "You can't work on your presentation until you've done the dishes", a chore you hate but that feels more achievable than finishing your presentation.
The Perfect Plan Paradox: He insists that your very first step must be perfectly planned and optimized, creating so much pressure at the starting line that you never leave it. This is how many of us end up building systems we never use, we spend so much time working on the system, that we never get around to working in it before the next shiny thing comes along and we start all over.
Waiting Mode: A.K.A "I have that appointment at 3, so I can't start doing anything else." Getting stuck in waiting mode is how a single afternoon appointment can take up an entire day.
The Avoidant Ally: He "helps" you get other things done by weaponizing the urgency for the task you're supposed to be doing, leading to a perilous chain of "While I'm at it..." and "Oh, real quick—". If you've ever decided to fold a load of laundry right before you were supposed to leave for an appointment, and then ended up being late, this is how The Gatekeeper got you.
Armor Up: Wards and Counterspells
The trick to defeating The Gatekeeper is not to fight him on his terms. Don't bother debating, and certainly don't dignify his smug questions with a response. The most effective strategy is to use your natural spitefulness to blatantly ignore him, or stealthily sneak past while he's busy squabbling with his own allies.
To ensure victory, we'll arm ourselves with two kinds of magic: Wards, preventative shields meant to keep The Gatekeeper from showing up in the first place; and Counterspells, powerful Cornerstones to use when you find yourself in a deadlock.
Wards
đź’ˇ Quick Win: Schedule appointments for the earliest time you know you can make. No late appointments = no Waiting Mode.
đź’ˇ Quick Win: Set your deadline reminders earlier and with more frequency as the date approaches, this helps increase the sense of urgency that is sometimes necessary to prepare.
Many digital calendars have the capability of setting default alerts, so you only have to set these defaults once and they will apply to each appointment added.
When I set up appointment reminders in my digital calendar (especially for appointments that are infrequent, like yearly health visits) I receive alerts at the following times beforehand: 30 days, 7 days, 5 days, 3 days, 2 days, 1 day, 12 hours, 2 hours, 1 hour, 30 minutes, and 10 minutes.
Certain people have called this excessive, but the fact that I'm never late for these appointments is a pretty solid argument for the strategy!
The Dopatizer: Pre-ward (pre + reward) yourself before attempting a task that makes you feel avoidant. Priming your brain for doing hard things by giving it a small, intentional, dopamine-appetizer can help make those things more appealing by topping up the cognitive fuel you need to get going and stay on task.
Perform a Ritual: Develop a routine (or a Quest) to follow ahead of certain tasks. It can be as simple as making a cup of tea, putting on a certain hat or pair of shoes, or lighting a candle, and as complex as doing all three.
The point is to perform your ritual before you complete certain tasks, creating an associative signal in your brain that it's time to do The Thing, and bypassing the need to make the conscious decision to start-- a point of vulnerability that The Gatekeeper loves to exploit. (If you're seeing shades of Pavlov, you're on the right track!)
This strategy is especially protective on low-energy days, when fighting will take more effort, work on building some rituals as soon as you can to strengthen this ward for your future self!
The Contract: Tell a friend you're going to send them photographic proof of a completed task within a certain timeframe. Raising the external stakes with accountability in simple ways, can make a huge difference.
- Next time you need to clean your kitchen, text a before-photo to a good friend stating that it will be clean in an hour, sign it in blood with a 🩸 emoji react if you want, then get to work. The contrast between the two when you go back to send the after-photo will be super satisfying, on top of the fact that you will have fulfilled your Contract.
Counterspells & Cornerstones
đź’ˇ Quick Win: The Sensory Switch: Use a specific sensory input to jolt your brain out of it's frozen state.
The Jolt, for Understimulation: When it's a boring task that's got you stuck in avoidance, use a strong sensory input like peppermint oil, sour candy, physical movement (if you have a sit-stand desk consider a balance board or walking pad), or even an ice cold seltzer to add stimulation and bring your brain back online.
The Mute Button, for Overstimulation: When overwhelm is keeping you down, use sensory tools to reduce stimulation and calm your nervous system. This is when noise canceling headphones, a weighted blanket, or moving into a quiet, dimly lit room can become your most powerful allies.
The Pebble (If you're stuck right now, try this one first!): The Gatekeeper's power comes in making the task seem huge and complex. The Pebble counters this head-on, by making the first step ridiculously small: You can't argue about the "perfect way" to open a document-- you just... Do it.
The Oracles (To Bypass the Debate): The Gatekeeper thrives on second-guessing. An Oracle (like The Coin or The Dice) completely bypasses the debate by making the decision for you, allowing you to move into action before he can even state his opening argument.
The Speed Run (To Build Momentum): The Gatekeeper wants you to stay frozen. A Speed Run gets you an immediate, easy win on a different task, providing the dopamine and momentum needed to blow past him on your way to the task he was guarding.
The Anchor: When you find yourself feeling stuck in the middle of a mundane task, and your focus begins to drift away, The Anchor is an Alchemy that tethers you to the present moment.
- This is body doubling, which takes many forms, but most often embodies a slightly more passive form of external accountability when compared to The Contract described above. It works because the simple presence of another person, even just listening to them on the phone while you work, provides a gentle, external grounding force that keeps your wandering mind from floating away.
As you practice and find which methods work best for you, I hope you'll begin to see that all it takes is one teeny, tiny imperfect step to expose The Gatekeeper's defenses and send them crashing to the ground. I know you've got this and I can't wait to see how you take these strategies and make them your own!
Next week we'll open the case file on another Everyday Horror, and The Gatekeeper's favorite partner in crime, a deceptively dangerous goofball who feeds on your will to choose: Major Minor.
✂️ TL;DR: The Gatekeeper
The Villain: The Gatekeeper is the personification of Task Paralysis—that condescending inner voice that uses a barrage of "what-ifs" and "shouldn't-you-firsts" to keep you from starting anything.
The Cause: This paralysis is often triggered by being either understimulated (bored) or overstimulated (overwhelmed). It's not a moral failing; it's a breakdown in your brain's activation system.
The Strategy: You don't win by arguing with him. You win by using Wards (proactive tricks like "The Dopatizer") to keep him away, and Counterspells (reactive tools like "The Pebble") to sneak past him when he shows up.
Psst! If you're here because you're stuck: Try The Pebble first! It's a fun exercise in finding the tiniest win, which is all you really need-- you've got this! đź’Ş